Icky in Brooklyn

The People's Republic of Park Slope is known for nothing if not for handcrafted liberal chic. Fire up the ol' search engine and you will find the stuff of New Slope legend ... the faux hippy co-op, yellow umbrellas, the Snowflake "buy local" campaign.

For all the pontificating about the glories of buying local, most Slopers doesn't seem too concerned when it comes right down to brass tax. Seems most won't put their Amex cards where their pie holes are. But really, dear readers, what is life without a B&N discount card and a Half-Caf Caramel Macchiato? I mean honestly, I can live without anything but luxury.



One only need look at the lighted signs of Seventh Avenue to see how much Slopers are willing to sacrifice convenience for "buying local." Park Slope ably supports a Starbucks-down-the-street-from-a-Starbucks, a Rite-Aid, and a Barnes & Noble that has been elevated to the level of Community Center. Deep Slope Doyenne Louise Crawford's own blog bemoans the loss of independent Seventh Avenue Books and hails the bailing out of her beloved Community Bookstore while regularly plugging events (and merchandise) at Barnes & Noble.

Poor Smartmom. Chummy-Wummy Tiny Bookstore didn't have Smartmom's book. That's okay. Smartmom loves Corporate Monster. Corporate Monster is a big monster. Corporate Monster holds author readings to lull Smartmom into submission with a faux sense of local color. Smartmom is easily lulled.



By all accounts, Park Slope's buy-local "Snowflake Night" bombed big, and reeked of do-gooder posturing and public relations. But let's not blame the neighbors completely - the merchants' offers were a joke. Multiple offers for a free dessert, a craft demonstration, or 10% to 15% off are not exactly going to tempt someone out into the freezing rain. Hell, 15% off Park Slope boutique prices wouldn't even bring it down to normal retail.

Even though I don't really need a handmade organic-wool doggy hat, a cruelty-free faux-silk meditiation pillow, or a peacock blue yoga mat made by actual peacocks - thanks for asking. It's the thought that counts.

Clearly, Park Slope doesn't want an ugly sort of horror-movie retail beast like Walmart, but a happy Pete's Dragon sort of beast like B&N is perfectly okay - at the expense of local businesses or not. Here's a tip - If you don't want to lose your small local businesses, start a campaign to locally boycott the chains; not a stupid event in which the hardware store serves hot chocolate until ten.

Or wouldn't that be cute enough? I guess "The Snowflake Boycott" is not very catchy.

Of course, this is not to say that there are not Parksiders practicing what they preach. But it seems for the most part, to paraphrase Kander and Ebb, "If you can fake it there, you can fake it anywhere."



park slope starbucks photo courtesy of lab2112's photostream at flickr.com
twilight photo courtesy of greenbk's photostream at flickr.com

My crafty pal Miss V and I made some hot and heavy plans to head over to Carroll Gardens/Cobble Hill to gather some crafty provisions. This being the busy NYC holiday season, we planned several days in advance. Deciding we'd spend way-too-much, we made grand plans - buy some super fancy findings, and then eat in a nice cafe afterward.


Overtures were made. I was promised a fancy funky bead shop over yonder on Smith. Taking the weather into account, we put on our hoods and put up our umbrellas. We laughed at the sleet. We scoffed at the rain. Actually, we took the F train over ... so, mercifully, there wasn't that much freezing rain involved - until we arrived at the "Brooklyn Beads Boutique" at Smith and Douglass.

Dear Brooklyn Beads Boutique - Your website says you open at 12 noon. The sign on your door says you open at 12 noon. I am quite sure that the latte, the chai tea, the scone, the drycleaning, the shoe polish, the herbal digestion supplement, or whatever, was of the utmost importance. I'm sure it was worth leaving your customers - who made a special trip - quite literally, out in the rain. Your pink "Will Return Shortly" post-it is not cute and folksy. In fact, when standing in the freezing rain, it is rage-inducing. Yes, we know you returned at 12:20 (not "shortly" in my book). By then we had called a car service. We piled in our chariot bound for Manhattan as you, Brown Coat, unlocked the front door at precisely 12:21.

So much for buying local.




beads photo courtesy of mollycakes' photostream at flickr.com

The recent new-businesses announced in Windsor Terrace came like a heap of early Christmas presents. Perhaps that's not the case. Of the businesses that started hanging shingles in August, none have opened.

Most folks got their first peek at Enzo's - our rumored new brick oven pizza joint - back in late Summer. Faux rock or not, there was much rejoicing. They never opened. The interior looks near-done, if not done. Inspection problems? Permits? The (now legend) molded cement sign and facade recently got poked and prodded - accompanied by weird sanding marks, scorching, and paint drips.





The much-bemoaned closing of our local pet store came with the news of owner (and colorful neighborhood character) Jackie's death. Good news followed. The other-lady was going to open a new store down the street. A sign went up in the new space! Then, a rather angry message appeared in the old space. And of course, they never opened.





The old Western Union space has fared a little better, with the big yellow sign coming down quickly, a tailor already open and pastry & meatpie shop planned. The tailor(ess) zipped open in a flash, and it's a cute little shop. There's always a nice dress in the window. There was a burst of work on the DUB Pies side, but not much activity lately. (Though we really can't complain - it's only been a few weeks.)





In meat pie trivia, few of us can anticipate such a shop without seriously flahing back to the plot of Sweeney Todd. (Wouldn't THAT be a great addition to the neighborhood?!) Inserting the word "Brooklyn" into Sondheim's lyrics has provided hours of enjoyment. Meanwhile, we're keeping that to ourselves ... DUB Pies has surely heard all the Sweeney Todd jokes they care to.

Still, I'm putting all my wishing chips in the meat pie column. If you can't get excited about meat pies, what can you get excited about?





pasties photo courtesy of andrew d miller's photostream at flickr.com

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A MINOR LATE EDITION UPDATE - Something is happening over at the old Universal Video space, although the guys working on clearing it out could not tell me what. Seems like they are clearing out the retail space for a new tenant ... and it seems like someone forgot to leave the key to the basement hatch.

Signs are up in the windows of the old Western Union space on Prospect Park West ... no toddler emporiums or McRestaurants are headed this way just yet. Both are local businesses, and both look pretty interesting.

The corner space is going to be occupied by Down Under Bakery (Dub) Pies. Their original store is in Redhook at 193 Columbia Street. Their website mentions they were established 2003 and are "proud to be the first specialty bakery to bring the authentic New Zealand-Australian experience — the culturally iconic meat pie — to New York City." Looks like they will also be offering coffee and desserts ... both of which make me very happy.

The space next door will be occupied by a tailor, and the shop is already being set up, complete with a dress in the window. Pretty cool. The building has been painted a more pleasing green, and we're looking forward to the grand openings. Welcome to the neighborhood!



By the way, I wonder what ever happened to Enzo's? We've been looking for this place to open since the end of August.

It's an unusual-day-in-the-neighborhood in Windsor Terrace.

The Sovereign Segways are out shilling for our newest neighborhood bank, manned by guys in identical red shirts, making the neighborhood look eerily like a Furturama episode. If you're not familiar with the Segway, it's a sort of self-propelled stand-on scooter. Our local genus is fitted with mini-billboards for Sovereign Bank, and carry uniformed guys armed with handouts.





As I turned away from the Segways and rounded the corner for home, a man in a butcher's apron asked if I wanted to buy some steaks. He called from across the intersection, apron-a-flapping in the Autumn wind, calling, "Hey, guy!" and following me across the street. No steaks were purchased.

My old-timer neighbor asked "Did he try to sell you steaks? It could be horse meat."

Feeling a little battered this week, I stopped of at the new CHINESE ACCUPRESSURE CENTER at 7th Ave and 16th Street today for a thirty minute appointment.

My only real beef was that it was pretty noisy - you can hear the door swooshing open (a lot), the windows rattle every time the door opens, a decent amount of loud talking from the staff. Not too troubling, but peace and quiet goes a long way towards making you feel comfortable when you're essentially naked under a towel on the other side of a curtain. That said, the staff knows their stuff and I came out feeling great. The prices are definitely great - $30 for 30 minutes, $60 for a hour. As a bonus, the ladies were very, very sweet and I got a tiny little cup of Chinese tea when I left.

Our local pet stuff store ALL FOR PAWS continues to sell off remaining inventory. Store staff are still hoping to move up the block (Windsor/Prospect), and are waiting to hear if they have been given the lease on the space.

Carpenters were working in the old/new WESTERN UNION space today. Wood going in and out, but I didn't have a chance to stop and ask if there was a tenant yet.

Rumors have begun to circulate that our local tween school HOLY NAME might not be around next year. (This is completely neighborhood chatter, for what it's worth.) Although talk of empty classrooms, low enrollment, and vacant floors is pretty common, this is the first rumor I had heard of a closing. I wonder what one does with a big Catholic school building if the school closes.

UPDATE 9/28 - According to a neighbor, there had been difficulty in the past, but a recent upswing in the school's fortunes ensures that Holy Name is on better footing than it had been previously, and in fact, enrollment is up.

Just off the circle (which is really Bartel Pritchard Square), we've had quite a run of Prospect Park West businesses closing lately-and-soon. The Western Union went out (now re-drywalled and split), Universal Video's closing was much posted about here, and the Pet Store is currently having a blow-out sale. (Although they are moving up the block.) In an era of perfect timing, the new Real Estate agency hung their pseudo-trendy shingle right out over the Avenue recently.

The cranky cry of condos pushes Southward, bringing with it retail banality.

After the Midnight Flit of Universal Video last night, curiously, they're going to be back for-one-day-only. A sign went up today. 1pm to 4pm tomorrow, Saturday 9/21. They will be selling their stock of VHS tapes for $1 each. (Luddites, rejoice.)

Awful lot of businesses going out on that block ... the Western Union, Universal, and the Pet Store all in the same several weeks. A nice young guy in front of the Pet Store told me tonight that the store is just moving, and that they are reportedly negotiating a space on the next block up (Windsor/Prospect). He also said he hoped none of these spaces would become a Starbucks. Amen to that, bother.

Seems to echo the sentiment of the neighborhood strongly. My friend Moe, an old-timer, commented, "Probably another Real Estate office." An annon commenter to this blog today said, "Wish 'em well, but just hope the space doesn't become another real estate office."

Breaking News from Prospect Park West at 7:15pm ...

The gates are down, and a crew of guys at Universal Video on Prospect Park West is loading out the inventory into a U Haul as we speak. Things did seem amiss the other day. However, when I was in the store yesterday nothing was mentioned and no signs had gone up. Seems like a bit of a Midnight Flit or a Vamoose. Either way, it's certainly without fanfare, and they look like they're in a hurry. The guys at the truck didn't want to be bothered.

Does this mean I don't have to return my videos?

Lots of changes over the past few months at Universal Video? Seems so. I think Netflix is doing our local independent in. (In the spirit of full disclosure, I use Netflix but also rent from Universal. I'm impatient.)

A few months ago, I thought I noticed a new staff ... the young skinny college-type guy showed up, the mean lady was gone, there was a new owner/manager type guy making sure I knew about the current deal ... $1/one day. Now an "Unlimited Videos" monthly membership posted in the window.

I returned a few vids yesterday, and mentioned that they were Universally scratched - skipped, got stuck, had to eject them, FFed past the skippy part, missed that part of the movie ... you know the drill. But I watch the clerks check for scratches before they give them to me. And then there is that tough-love "you are responsible for scratches" piece of paper in the case. So, if this is such a priority, why are they scratched?

The lady clerk today was really, really nice. And I was really, really nice. We were all really, really nice. It's not that nine bucks to rent three DVDs is horribly expensive. It is that we are entering into a transaction: I give you money, you give me DVDs that play.

They were very sorry, but that's about it. I'm conflicted.

Just a few pictures from the on-and-off dousing we got yesterday ... Steam from the Arrow Linen Company, cars in the rain, and the Western Union storefront. I tried to catch a stealth pic of the interior, but it didn't work out. Looks like something is going on in there - the windows are covered, but there is new drywall and studs all the way around. It also seems to have aquired an extra door, maybe has been split into two spaces. Meanwhile, no signs of life a few doors down at Enzo's.

Need incense? Indian imported incense holders? Binder clips? Spiritual books? A Coke? Magazines? Notebook paper? Lotto? Cigars? Little statues? Three ring binders? Meditation CDs? You need Krupa, possibly the most unusual shop in Windsor Terrace. The run of the mill stuff is always average price (sodas, candy, smokes, etc), but if you need a copy paper for your printer, it's gonna cost you. A lot. However the ultra-kind Messages-From-the-Universe posted all over the store and the fact that Mama Krupa calls everyone "Love" calms my retail ire. You'll find it all near the corner of Prospect Park West and Windsor Place.





A little further South and up the block is our local Hallmark store. It used to smell like cats all the time but now it seems better. Shopping for a card for your mom while you smell cat pee freaks me out a little. I digress. I love this place. Besides the dull-as-ditchwater Hallmark fare, this store always has a quirky selection of things. I've seen hand-knit baby blankets (actually knit by a local), and even "Windsor Terrace" t-shirts. The most recent coolness is a set of Coney Island-like miniatures, including a Parachute Jump.

Here's hoping Enzo is a real person.

The latest culinary contender on the WT Rialto is Enzo's. I believe this officially brings the list to - Pizza, Diner, Japanese, Mexican, Chinese, Muffins, Moroccan, Italian, Hot Dog Counter, Thai, and Spanish. (No wonder we're being invaded.)

But back to Enzo's. I see a good lookin' brick oven inside, and nice interior that isn't all post modern or generic. Looks like real mood. We'll see. The reno has taken quite a while. (The storefront was formerly occupied by an Indian place that did not last long.) At first I thought of Enzo as being in direct competition with DaVincenzo up the street (the "other 'Enzo?), but now I'm not so sure. Vincenzo is more of a "big entrees with wine" place. We could use a good quality brick oven "nice" pizza joint here.

The proximity to the Pavilion Theater may be keep it going nicely. Hope it doesn't become a Pod People stroller parking lot.

Many of our shops in Windsor Terrace are very specific. They sell weird things. They have personality. They are reflections of their owners. (I once bought a "Windsor Terrace" t-shirt in the Hallmark Store, which also carries hand-knit baby blankets, created by a grandma right on the block.) Therefore, I proudly present ... Monday Must Haves, a collection of of the cool, fortuitous, and unexpected.

One of my favorite hoots/haunts in Windsor Terrace has always been the fabulously colorful "All For Paws" on Prospect Park West. Jackie, the totally cool old character that ran the joint would say things to your dog like, "You are so fucking cute, I can't fucking stand it! What a little shit! You are so fucking cute!" Needless to say, I always ended up hanging out for at least twenty minutes. Recently, a sign went up in the window letting us know that Jackie had lost her long battle with cancer. The sign also mentions that the shop will continue to operate, and is currently regrouping. Rest in peace, and good for you for having a great time and being yourself.



Wednesdays at Bartel Pritchard Square (corner of Prospect Park) brings us a junior version of Park Slope's Grand Army Plaza Greenmarket (which I suppose, is a junior version of Manhattan's Union Square Greenmarket). Small neighborhood/small market; but, you'll find great fresh stuff here each week and they don't shirk on the heirloom varieties. In addition to the two or three farms that set up here, an organic bakery also puts down stakes.

Celebrating the first day of August in the great borough of Brooklyn, Julie Andrews and I would like to draw your attention to a-few-of-my-favorite-things ... some awesome Brooklyn blogs and some of my favorite Windsor Terrace holes-in-the-wall.

THE BLOGS

http://www.newyorkshitty.com/

My absolute favorite Brooklyn blog, hands down, due to a high content of wry commentary and no-I'm-not-kiddingness. (Plus, Miss Heather shares my fascination with siding.)

http://snakeoilemporium.typepad.com/my_weblog/

The Rev. Spyrowas serves up a great tasting blog with no irritating agenda (to me, anyway). Plenty of Coney culture, lots of fun, and some good old fashioned Brooklyn sticking-it-to-the-man.

http://www.bedstuyblog.com/

Good lookin' really positive blog in BedStuy ... events, new businesses, people, places. Very cool, very friendly blog. Sunny funny.

http://www.gowanuslounge.blogspot.com/

The venerable. Seriously cool stories, amazing photographs, and my favorite feature ... consistent coverage of the construction of new, ugly McCondos.


THE HOLES IN THE WALL



The No-Name Florist/Pseudo-Nursery on Windsor Place



Cops, Strong Coffee, and Sustenance at the Esteemed Terrace Bagel on Prospect Park West



Fez ... my fav restaurant (they have a garden and mint tea) on PPW



Our independent bookseller on PPW