Icky in Brooklyn

Evidently, I have need for a new tag ... Public Pissing.

You might remember from a previous entry, I have evidently been pretty naive concerning the pissing going on around me.

Yesterday afternoon, a hipster dad was walking down Prospect Park West with his toddler. It seems Toddles had to pee. Dad walks the todd over to the curb, yanks down his drawers, and assists him in a street piss. I am totally not kidding.

There are so many ways in which this should be wrong, I can't believe one of them did not stick. I mean, hell, isn't peeing directly onto Prospect Park West shameful enough? Facing Holy Name church? With your wanker hanging out onto the avenue? Midday with a Southern Exposure? In front of a Hallmark Store?

An expression comes to mind ... Don't shit where you eat.

Dad promptly put the todd on his shoulders and bounced off down the street. Pissing on the Avenue and a ride on Daddy's shoulders ... now that's what I call an afternoon out.

A constitutional was in order. I decided a nice walk down 8th Avenue into Park Slope would fit the bill. Okay, Hell, I admit it, I went to Barnes & Noble. But it was 9pm on a Sunday and I needed books ... badly! I did manage to resist the urge to buy a flavored latte at Upchucks.

I came out of the store with my green bag of conspicuous consumption in hand, and I rounded the corner onto 6th Street when what to my wondering eyes should appear? A guy pissing in the tree pit, with his wanker hanging out for all to see.

I have to admit, I had mixed emotions. First, I was a little aghast. Then, I decided it was kind of fun. I mean, this was no ordinary hiding-in-an-alley-behind-a-dumpster piss. This piss could very well have been a social statement. A purposeful piss. A piss on a mission. If nothing else, the location was sheer poetry ... 6th Street and 7th Avenue in Park Slope, right outside the huge B&N windows, directly behind the permanently parked ice cream truck, and smack bang across from brand new shiny bazillion dollar Methodist Hospital entrance. You go, pisser.

(Should you wonder about the title of the post, head on over to http://www.newyorkshitty.com/, where the fabulous Heather presides as Dog Shit Queen of Greenpoint.)